Free Guide

Your mind won't stop overthinking.

Sexual trauma does that.

You overanalyse people, doubt yourself, and disappear during intimacy; these aren't personality flaws you can think your way out of. They are patterns your nervous system learned during childhood to keep you safe. They made complete sense then. They've just never been updated! Here is how to do it.

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5 Overthinking Patterns Sexual Trauma Creates: And Why Your Mind Has Never Felt Safe Enough to Switch Them Off

For sexual abuse survivors ready to understand why their mind never learned to switch off and how to start changing that.

What sexual trauma OFTEN looks like

Not a breakdown. Not falling apart.

More often, it lives quietly in the way your mind works, the way your body holds itself, the way you move through relationships and the world.

A mind that never switches off

Replaying every conversation after it ends. Scanning every room. Looking for what you got wrong, what might go wrong, what you might have missed.

Not trusting what you feel

Second-guessing your own instincts, even when a quiet part of you already knows the answer. Doubting your own perception of what's real.

Difficulty with closeness

Not because you don't want connection but because closeness has felt unsafe for so long that your body learned to stay braced, even with people who love you.

Shame that was never yours to carry

Wondering - even after all this time - if somehow it was your fault. If you could have stopped it. If something about you caused it. It didn't. You didn't.

Always performing calm

Holding it together on the outside while something inside never quite lands. So good at keeping it together that nobody around you knows how much it costs.

Constant hypervigilance

Watching for shifts in mood, in tone, in energy. Braced for what's coming even when nothing is. Exhausted by a threat that hasn't existed for years.

Sexual abuse leaves a programme running inside the nervous system:

"Stay alert. Stay ready. Don't let your guard down."

That programme doesn't switch off when the danger passes. It keeps running quietly and constantly in your thoughts, your relationships, your body. That's not a flaw. That's what surviving looks like, long after the threat is gone.

Experience

15 years

Supporting clients with the long-term effects of sexual abuse.

Professional Body

ABvC

Dutch Association for Professional Counselling

RBCZ

Multilingual

English · Dutch
Spanish · Papiamento

Sessions available in the above languages.

Hi, I am Michemine or Mily

Counsellor · Specialist in the long-term effects of sexual abuse

I work with people whose minds don't stop and who don't always know why.

Most of my clients don't arrive saying they have trauma. They arrive saying their thoughts won't quiet, they can't trust themselves, they don't feel fully present in their own lives.

I've lived this too. I came to this work through my own experience. I know the patterns trauma leaves behind, the way it quietly shapes how you see yourself, how you move through relationships, how safe the world feels to be in.

People who come to me are not broken. They are perceptive, deeply feeling, self-aware, and still stuck. Not because they aren't trying. Because they've been working on the symptoms, without touching the root.

What becomes possible FOR MY CLIENTS

The Mind - Quiets. Not because you're managing it better, but because what was driving it has changed.

Relationships - You stop bracing and over-analysing every word. You start trusting what you feel.

Guilt-Free - You stop feeling broken, judging your progress, and blaming yourself for what happened.

"From feeling lost to clarity and personal growth."

She helped me see how our past experiences shape our current relationships and outlook. I realised the solutions we seek are often already inside us, we just need guidance to find them.

Venicia

Social Worker

One-to-one work in

English Dutch Spanish Papiamento

Mily works not only with survivors of sexual trauma, but with people affected by many forms of trauma.

Support is tailored to your unique needs, with options ranging from 3 sessions to longer-term work.

STEP 1

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Application

Click the button below to complete a short form and book your discovery call.

STEP 2

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Conversation

Pressure-free 30-minute chat where we can together find out if we are a right fit.

STEP 3

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Your Journey

We start a personalized journey to address your unique experience.

Registered with ABvC and RBCZ · Sessions may be partially reimbursed through Dutch supplementary insurance

Book My Exploration Call

Some Amazing Transformations From My Past Clients

"From sexual abuse, panic attacks and trauma to flourishing in life as a survivor."

Mily helped me find the root of where my stress and PTSD begins, so I could address it in the gentlest way possible. She reminded me that what happened was not something I caused or asked for. She helped me realise that I have value and a purpose in this world.

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"Working with Mily through the programme has been an enormous and healthy help in my life. She helped me understand my emotions and learn to deal with them. Her guidance helped me find the root of where the stress, anxiety and PTSD begins, so I could address it in the gentlest way possible. She reminded me that what happened to me was not something I caused or asked for. She helped me realise that, at the end of the day, I have value and a purpose in this world. Don't be afraid to talk about what happened to you — give yourself an honest chance to open up and seek help. Asking for help doesn't mean you're weak. It simply means you need some guidance to one day become the best version of yourself. Thank you, Mily, for your guidance — because of you I am today the best version of myself."

Veronicka Camara

Administrative Worker

"From shame about who I am to embracing my strength."

Mily helped me accept my journey and reminded me again and again how to face my challenges. With understanding and patience she helped me embrace who I truly am. I now live my life much more fully as the strong person I am. I am no longer ashamed of who I am.

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"What really made the difference for me was working with a therapist who truly understood my struggles. Mily helped me accept my journey. She reminded me again and again how to face my challenges. With understanding and patience she helped me embrace who I am. I now live my life much more fully as the strong person I am. I am no longer ashamed of who I am."

Giselle Roosenhof

Business Owner

"From self-doubt to self-worth: learning to set boundaries and embrace my true value."

Mily's support changed my life both emotionally and spiritually. I learned to love myself, value myself, say no, and accept nothing less than I deserve. Her support has had positive and valuable results in every single area of my life.

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"Mily's support has been a unique experience that has changed my life both emotionally and spiritually. I have learned to love myself, to value myself, to say no and to accept nothing less than I deserve. I have learned to set boundaries in my relationships — whether with a partner, friends, colleagues or family. The truth is, the support Michemine has given me has had positive and valuable results in every area of my life. I am incredibly grateful for the guidance Mily has given me."

Reyna Santos

Hairdresser

"From sexual trauma and panic attacks to getting my driving licence."

Through Mily's guidance I learned how to deal with situations that trigger me and take me back to the moments I was abused. I learned to manage my emotions and handle them effectively. I have now had my driving licence for seven years.

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"I am Carine Martin, a survivor of 15 years of sexual, mental and physical abuse. Today I can say that working with Mily through the programme has been an enormous and healthy help in my life. One of my biggest struggles was getting my driving licence. Through the lessons and guidance I learned how to deal with situations that trigger me and take me back to the moments I was abused in the car. I learned to manage my emotions and handle them effectively. Praise God — I have now had my driving licence for seven years."

Carine Martin

Author & Private Teacher

FREE GUIDE

Not ready to reach out yet?

That's okay. Start here.

This guide is for you if

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You lie awake at night running through conversations, wondering what you should have said differently

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You know something happened and you can feel it still shaping your life, even if you can't always explain how

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You second-guess yourself constantly, your instincts, your reactions, whether what you feel is even real

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You feel on edge in relationships watching for shifts, bracing for something you can't quite name

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You're exhausted by your own mind and ready to finally understand why it works the way it does

Free. No pressure. Just something that might finally make sense of things.